|You smoke because you have an oral fixation. People tell me that.
In my case, it'd be true only if you left out the "because".
My smoking has nothing to do with my oral desires, but everything to do with the waves of relaxation that begin at the back of my neck and resonate over my entire body. As a mouthing object, a cigarette doesn't even rate. It's not a particularly pleasant shape, it's ruined by too much moisture, and you get disastrous results if you try to stick it under your tongue or suckle it.
I'm the person who often has a pen in her mouth, and when concentrating especially hard, I unconsciously stick my tongue out. Most of the time I don't even think about these habits, but when I run out of cigarettes and therefore can't get my "hit" for relaxation, all this gets brought to the forefront, and I go actively seeking for something nice to put in my mouth. It's really comforting.
As you might expect, kissing is very, very important to me. I want none of that fast peck on puckered lips crap. Save that for your kids. I save it for mine. What I want from a lover is in-depth, tongue-n-tonsils, hard, hungry, mouth-merging, so-powerful-you-gotta-close-your-eyes kissing. I wanna feel it, dammit. I wanna taste it.
Now, if you think about sex...well, if you saw A Twisting Feeling in the Groin you can imagine what you get when you combine "brain sex" with my oral fixation. You get a form of worship in which an orgasm for me is irrelevant, even undesired. A form of worship in which I envelop my lover's mind, then heart, then libido, in ever-progressive layers.
Envelopment. Yeah, that's it.
On the physical end, the feeling of smooth, hard, hot muscle is so entrancing, so captivating...
God, I am getting breathless just writing about it.
I so thoroughly enjoy the giving of oral sex that I am every bit as satisfied at its conclusion as when I have intercourse.
Some of my friends think it's a lie, or an exaggeration. Nuh-uh. I am struggling to make the English language convey this adequately, and am not particularly pleased with the results. The fact is that the desire to use my mouth to enfold, engulf, envelop, massage, lick, suck, devour, (insert more verbs here), is incredibly strong, almost to the point of obsession.
Hmmmm, I think the hubby is in trouble now.
--2 October 97