Unfulfilled Desires  Cinnabon.  Fudge.  Fries.  Hard candies.  Fish sticks.  This quitting smoking thing is a bit harder than I thought it would be.     See, when we run out of money (and it happens quite a bit) and can't afford cigarettes, I  would usually just do without until we do have the money, which is no longer than two weeks.  In the meantime, I would indulge whatever other cravings I could to make up for it, coffee, brandy, chocolate, whatever we had on hand and didn't have to buy.     Now that I have quit on purpose, for my health, I can't use that strategy anymore, because now weight gain is an issue.  You can't gain all that much in two weeks and can lose it again once the cigarettes are there.  This time, there is no "two weeks from now."  This is it, baby.  And I do know I gain weight.  Or rather keep it.  I didn't smoke when I breastfed (nor when pregnant, for that matter), and the pounds stayed until weaning and then succombing to the urge for tobacco.     It is a point of some pride that I can once again fit into clothes I haven't worn since my single days.  Hell, some of them are too big for me!  My bones aren't showing, so I am not anorexic.  I don't wanna be any thinner, just wanna stay just like this.     But my appetite is about triple what it was last week.  And sweets, which haven't appealed to me in years, are starting to look really good.     I hold on to the hope that when running is firmly re-established into my schedule, I can again be free to eat whatever I want.  Until those details are ironed out, though...Well, denying oneself of one vice is bad; having to deny two, the smoking and the impulsive eating, is downright painful.  Any suggestions are very, very welcome. I love you, Brooklynguy.  Hurry home to me.  Carefully, please. :) Talking about unfulfilled desires - in the internet literature field, I feel like I want something but not sure what.  You know, how you get food urges sometimes, not sure exactly what you want...same kind of thing.  I hit up my favorite journals and newsgroups (thank you, Zach, feels good to know you think about me from time to time :), ran a search for redneck roadkill recipes (got bored with that before actually finding any), and otherwise ducked responsibilities.  My analytical mind was just so fragged over this stinking hard drive, which must go back to the factory cuz it's just plain physically damaged, that I could barely recite my birthdate for you, much less handle important stuff.  I wanted a snack to read, and found a nice couple tidbits, like the musings of the Gus, the Horizon Line, and from the makers of journal.  But these were polished off rather rapidly and I am hungry for more, more, more.     Ooooh I know!  Think I'll go over to Mindspace.  It's sometimes fun over there.