Thanksgiving
Yes here it is again, the day of thanks.  I am tempted to tell how it's done where I come from, but then this big fatigue is setting in and I just decided, I'll tell some other day. 
    This year it was a simple deal, a small ham, some potatoes - mashed ones and stewed ones, stuffing with cranberries in it, gravy, and two cakes - carrot and spice.  Everything came out good, so I can be grateful for that. 
    Yes I am clothed and I eat and am housed, as are my children, and for that I am ever grateful; I know what the alternative feels like.  Am I just dissatisfied then, reaching for more, working for more, demanding more more more?  It's not material stuff, its the power over my own life.  It's self determination, and the domination of my own space, and yes it's the urgent need for peace in the house, that I demand, that I fight for and work for. 
    Sometime I feel so mean and little, because things could be so much worse.  I am blessed with a husband who really tries hard to make things right, and with two glorious children whom I love unconditionally.  Yet it isn't enough. 
    I could go on and on about what's wrong with the marriage, most of it beginning with "he" but much of it also beginning in "I" and a good deal starting with "we."  If the marriage were fine, the rest would be fine.  I don't need much money; I don't care for material goods.  I just want peace in my house.
    Netscape just crashed, so I took a break.  There is exactly one person on my ICQ list who is on tonight.  And he is "away."  My touchdown world in AW is closed for some unknown reason, so I got shunted to AWPrime, could only stand a few seconds of sleaze before I took off to another closed world, but one where I am on the access list.  Only two people on my AW contact list are in, and they are people that I am not in the best standing with these days.
    Ok I am lonely!  I am so lonely and I don't feel like working anymore tonight.