Human Skin Things, Part 2

The regimen that seems to be working is taking a three-prong approach. Kill the fungus with ketoconazole and tea tree oil. Starve the fungus with moisturizers and cleansers that don’t contain the oils they like. I learned even more about Malassezia on this page, and it was seriously helpful. And here’s that author’s list of safe products.

I wash my face and ears with CeraVe Hydrating Facial Cleanser twice per day, once prior to my shower in the morning and once before going to bed.
Nizoral Anti Dandruff Shampoo every day until the scabs/scales are gone, then reduce to every 3 days until the flakes are gone, then reduce to once every 2-3 weeks as preventive. Apply shampoo, let remain for 5 minutes, rinse, reapply, then rinse again. I have not yet decided on shampoo and conditioner to use the rest of the time. If body symptoms are severe, use Nizoral as a body wash instead of the castille soap below until improved.
As the skin gets better, I use Dr. Bronner’s Hemp Pure-Castile Tea Tree Soap.
After the shower, I apply 2% Ketoconazole to all the affected areas. I apply Hydrocortisone to any severely affected areas after the antifungal is fully absorbed. I apply Hydrocortisone occasionally also.
In the morning I moisturize face, ears, neck, bosom, and arms with CeraVe AM Facial Moisturizing Lotion. It’s got sunscreen. It’s oil free.
In the morning I moisturize the rest of me with CeraVe Moisturizing Cream. At bedtime I moisturize all of me with it.
I treat my scalp with OGX Tea Tree Mint Extra Strength Scalp Treatment after my shower and at bedtime.

Dog Talking Buttons

As of today, Sophie and Kai have three buttons, two of which Sophie has used on purpose occasionally.

Those are Outside, Walk and Park. The chart at TheyCanTalk shows Outside and Walk as “Where” words, but we use these as “Doing” words (go outside, go for walk), so that’s how our tiles are set up.

We have a new Park button because the old one is acting up. I dunno if the battery needs changing or the button was damaged in the many trips. Sometime I’ll take time to look at it. While we were in Eden, with nothing even remotely like a Park available, I had repurposed it as a second Boop button to help Kai with target training. But I’m running out of buttons now. More are on order.

Sophie has been asking me for water with her voice and face a lot lately, so I wanted to introduce Water soon. But caveats:

  • It’s better to introduce words in pairs.
  • It’s better to hold off on food buttons if a learner is highly food oriented, as Sophie is.
  • We’ve been verbally modeling Play and All Done a lot lately.

So our order is probably going to be more like:

  1. Outside
  2. Walk and Park
  3. Water and Toy
  4. Play and All Done

And so on from there, but I’m waffling on the mixing and matching of items in 3 and 4 since we more heavily use “water” and “all done” verbally. How much does it matter, though?

Human Skin Things

I’ve been having trouble with my skin off and on for a long time, but the most recent “on” has been going on now since around June of 2019. I didn’t realize the full scale and scope until looking at my health diary recently and collating all the things labeled “eczema” and “dermatitis” and “psoriasis” together.

I’ve never actually had a diagnosis.

I started a spreadsheet of everything I’ve been prescribed for it and looked up what those things are for.

Yesterday I learned that the Mayo Clinic says that seborrheic dermatitis is diagnosed via biopsy. I’ve never had a biopsy for this!! Not even when I had the same dermatologist over multiple visits. Which, admittedly, has been a rarity, as my insurance provider changed 5 times over 4 years and then changed again last year. It’s about to change again because I’m moving.

Anyway, I gathered all the data, found out what was what, and developed a treatment plan. So far it’s going swimmingly. But I also realize that I need to learn how to moisturize.

Like a lot of white people, I didn’t grow up with moisturizing of any sort. And then when everybody started saying we need to moisturize every day, it seemed like we were talking about delicate rejuvenators for faces and hands. Not lotion for the whole of me.

I am finding out from TikTok that I need lotion for the whole of me. So, um yeah, exploring this.

Because I’m oblivious (and now it’s increasingly apparent, neurodivergent) this data gathering exercise is helping me discover:

  • I have actually applied the same medication multiple occasions before and not realized it.
  • My container of face moisturizer is three years old. I’m throwing that out.
  • I thought dermatologists would know their stuff, but their approach is random and capricious, compared to the Mayo Clinic. F that.

Update: while doing some research into moisturizers, I stumbled onto this page and OMG science!!! But I’m discovering things …

Current products:

  • Nizoral Anti Dandruff Shampoo
  • OGX Tea Tree and Mint Shampoo
  • OGX Tea Tree and Mint Conditioner
  • OGX Tea Tree Mint Extra Strength Scalp Treatment
  • Dr. Bronner’s Hemp Pure-Castile Soap Tea Tree
  • Noxzema Original Cleansing Cream
  • Thursday Plantation Tea Tree Manuka Honey Balm
  • Nuvel Cocoa Butter Lotion

I’m finding out that the Noxzema, Honey Balm, and Nuvel have to go. They all use oils that Malassezia yeast loves to eat. The soap and hair products do too, but good rinsing will help with that. It’s what persists on the skin that I’m concerned about and Noxzema persists like a lot, even after a hard rinse. So I’ll need a new:

  • Face cleanser
  • Face moisturizer
  • Whole body moisturizer

Relationship Pitfalls

I’ve been married four times, domestic partnered once, and engaged a forgettable number of times before the first marriage. I don’t know the recipe for a good marriage but I know four recipes for ones that don’t last.

Recipe the first: the undiscovered country.

This sunk all the engagements and the second marriage. Do not get involved in a serious romantic relationship until well after you’ve done your epic journey of self discovery and self acceptance. Be happily single for a couple of years first. Make sure you have a completely firm foundation of who and what you are. When you are happy and well adjusted by yourself, you can properly date compatible people and have a reasonably well balanced marriage or other romantic relationship.

I think this is the most common, most pervasive, and most invisible cause. The more marriages I see break up, the more obvious the pattern is that one or both of the participants didn’t fully know themselves going in. They chose partners who were compatible with their mistaken image of themselves. Not who they actually were. So the two were fundamentally incompatible but didn’t know it. The journey of discovery uncovered it. Painfully.

And I don’t think we can avoid it by setting a time limit on when to get married. Some people seem to know themselves fully coming out of high school, and others never do. My ex is around 60 and he is still jabbing all around the target but missing it. Some people never try.

And how do you know when you get there? For me, it was when I finally came to acceptance about my family of origin, about the things about myself I like least, about things I used to accept unquestioningly about my culture and the world. In fact, I’m still in that process, but the hardest, most painful work seems to be finished.

Recipe the second: ignoring red flags and gut feelings.

I knew my first husband was untrustworthy well before I married him. He was cheating to date me. When I set a boundary, he committed a fraud to get around it. I knew while I was holding the divorce decree that something wasn’t right, but I didn’t go with my gut. I kept my word and married him. When he would not budge on the topic of changing my last name, that was a clear signal that it wasn’t me he was interested in, but I ignored that, too. We had a week or maybe two before the fresh lies and absences began.

Recipe the third: accepting (or assigning) the role of parent instead of partner.

Don’t get me wrong; for some couples that kind of relationship works, provided everyone accepts that going in. This is what went wrong with my third marriage and domestic partnership. I didn’t treat them like fully formed grown-ass human beings, and then I resented doing all the heavy lifting. I see a huge number of relationships with this problem. This is the problem most others can easily spot too. Folks are learning how to develop good boundaries about this as an additional benefit of dismantling the patriarchy.

Recipe the fourth: changing somebody’s life without their consent.

I don’t hear as much about this as I used to. Remember in like the 50s when globalization was emerging, and men who worked at these big corporations were getting reassigned to offices in other faraway cities? It used to be customary for men to accept these assignments without even consulting their wives. “Hi honey, we’re moving to Boston.” That would totally not fly now.

But there are other ways that one partner can completely change another’s life, and life changing things require consent. They just do. It is the height of selfishness to sell your shared house, trade in a shared car, or adopt a pet without the consent of your partner. This one got my fourth marriage.

Money Automata

I’m feeling a little stoked this morning. My financial plan for 2022 has launched very nicely. This is the first paycheck where my direct deposits for retirement, savings, and personal allowance kicked in. It’s nice to know those funds have been funneled away from the churning whirlwind that is (was) my bank account and, in two cases, being nicely put to work generating some funds of their own.

Also, I’ve moved most of the churn out of my primary bank account and parceled my expenses to separate credit cards based on whether they are routine regular expenses (like cell phone and power) or fluctuating out-of-pocket expenses (like food and fuel). Then I can pay off the credit cards once or twice a month. Because I pay with the credit cards, if I make an error, there’s not a cascading overdraft failure. But it also means some personal discipline, as I cannot afford to let debt creep up again like it did in 2021. Once I get a picture of how this all flows, I can set up auto-pay for these two cards and not have to worry about them.

I feel like a dweeb to be so excited about this, but I am definitely excited.

OMG BoldGrid and WordPress

OMG so much frustrate. None of this is intuitive and I do NOT HAVE TIME TO DEEPLY RESEARCH DESIGN TOOLS every time I JUST WANT TO MAKE A DAMN EDIT ON MY SITE!

Seriously, all I want to do is add some images to my slider. Even after finding where the hell the slider controls are, “Add Slide” does absolutely nothing and I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS!

I’m going to wind up scrapping my entire design, aren’t I?

What Happened at Work

A new position opened up on my old team. I applied for it and got it. It’s been a couple of months and I am extraordinarily happy. It feels so good to do meaningful work again on a supportive and cooperative team where the leader listens, cares, and actively leads. You are so jealous you are not me.