In High Gear

Lots of sex this weekend, though not nearly enough with wlofie. I did ravish him with swift abandon, but I was at that state of exhaustion where one suddenly falls asleep over and over again, and had to move to the cuddle phase way too soon. I definitely have to ambush him at some unexpected time Real Soon. Whee!

Juicy round Os for me lately – an oral delight Thursday night courtesy spc476 and a hearty manual work-over from kires on the drive home from the meetup with shadesong.

I’ve totally been pouncing the honeys, doing the carnivorous delight thing with wlofie and the bouncy wholesome thing with spc476, whom I even woke up today from a deep slumber so I could take advantage of him. Last night’s completely wicked car ride home included the sorts of sucking I love to do and culminated in covertly enthusiastic naughtiness in my front courtyard.

Haven’t had a decent chance to chase my favorite penguin around lately, sad to say. Must rectify soon.

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When I was a kid, we used to raise guinea pigs. Terribly cute, if a bit loud. Affectionate and cuddly. My sister was pretty little back then, and sometimes when she held a little guinea pig, she held it a little too tightly. It’d struggle and wriggle, and when her grip tightened to keep it from dropping, it would nip her with teeny sharp teeth.

She would howl with pain and rage and all but fling the little animal to whoever would take it, and run into the house, her face streaming with tears, yelling about the bad guniea pig.

The instinct for self-preservation can inspire any living creature to do hurtful things. Sometimes it’s hard to see why, sometimes not.

One time I had, in a cat carrier, a cat. I hardly remember the circumstances, but I remember that the cat was all jiggled up from having been transported, and was anxious and fearful, and I arrived at my ex’s place with this cage full of cat, and put it down. I opened the door to the cage, and the cat didn’t come out.

So, my ex stuck his arm in to try to get hold of the cat, and get it out.

He did this before I realized he was going to, else I would have stopped him. Anyone who puts his arm into an enclosed space with a frightened animal is going to get hurt. And he did. And he slammed around in fury and demanded the cat be punished.

I could understand his instant rage, because he was injured. But I could more closely understand the cat’s reaction, because of the cat’s circumstances.

Yes, it was a well-known human reaching in. Yes, it was a safe environment. But the cat was fearful, and it lashed out.

And the human was in pain, and he lashed out.

They eventually got over it. And the human learned to relax and not try to force a cat out of a cage. And the cat eventually relaxed and learned not to fear transport so much.

These stories are about animals, but they taught me things about people.

I’m partly to blame for what went wrong between my friends. At the beginning of their relationship, I saw a minefield in front of them, and so I advised him to go gently, go carefully, take it easy, don’t pressure, be accepting, yada yada.

It never occurred to me to advise her something similar about him. To go slowly, don’t rush him, don’t let him feel pressured, don’t try to snuggle him too close.

Both these friends require a lot of patience and careful handling, for different reasons. Plus they have vastly different needs, and I don’t really think each understands the needs of the other very well. They have different ways of expressing their needs, and reacting when their needs don’t get met.

Each wound up behaving in an instinctive way, as most of us do when we hurt or fear. We really are all animals. We are all skin and fur, bones and blood.

I wish I could make the hurting stop and the understanding start. I don’t see how, though.

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