18 December 1998
 
Daddy Time  
 
    My kiddos are on vacation with their dad.  I'll be working through xmas, then the day after, I'll be in Mississippi for a week.  After the new year, the kids are with me for a week, then they go live with their dad for six months.  People keep asking me how I feel about that.  How I feel is so multilayered that I can't give a pat answer.
    I'm relieved.  I already put most waking hours into my work, and it's not fair for the kids to be shorted parent time because I gotta slave the way I do.  While they are gone I can pretty much live at work without guilt and complications.  I can go to the sorts of spur-of-the-moment meetings that I've been missing for lack of a short-notice sitter.  I'm free to put 100% into what I'm doing.
    I'm sad, because I'll miss my babies.  Sure, I'll see them every weekend, but it still ain't the same.
    I'm apprehensive, because without me there to keep him in check, I'm worried the Huz will continue to pass on hangups and irrational attitudes that being an inconsistent yet inflexible parent can impart.  I'm worried that I'll have quite a bit of remedial work when they get back.
    I'm hopeful that the stuff I'm worrying about above is completely unfounded, and that he and they will do fine.
    He loves his kids very much, and wants only the best for them.  He wants them to be smart, strong, and loving people.  He wants to be able to give them everything.
    I can relate.   		 Previous 
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