What's *Your* Sex Sign?

Libra, as you probably have noticed, you are always surrounded by scores of admiring suitors. You are a very accomplished flirt. Catching you is not for the faint hearted. Competition is always fierce. Your innate charm and incredible looks instantly attract - and keep - your lovers. Old flames and rejected suitors always keep coming back for more.

Bwaaaahahahahahaha!

So today I was in the Rat Shack with my offspring looking for some cable and connector type components so I could re-work the TV/VCR/DVD/Atari setup, when this extremely elderly woman approached me and asked, "Are you the mother?" She was pointing at my children.

Mildly offended at the "the" in that sentence (when people say "the mother", as opposed to "her mother" or "their mother", it's a sniff of disapproval), I still said, "Yes ma'am."

"And this," she waved a pointing finger at my electric lime hairdo, "this is the example you are setting?"

I smiled big. "Oh, yes, ma'am!" I turned and paid for my equipment.

"Mom, what's the matter?" asked my littlest one.

"Oh, some people just can't handle free thinkers, honey." The clerk behind the counter had to choke down his laugh.

I hate going to the mall, especially the Town Center Mall in Boca, but it had to be done in order to get that equipment. This particular mall is full of pretentious people who stare a lot. Most rude. Sadly, I was also rude - I didn't lower my voice that much while telling my oldest that I don't like coming to the mall because the people are so rude.

Mostly, though, I hate going to the mall because it is the Temple of Mass Consumerism. There is not a damn thing that is there to benefit you or assist you in benefiting yourself, not really. Every mall is just a little Las Vegas, just a tiny Atlantic City. It's all about fleecing you as thoroughly as possible while leaving you with a nice aroma afterward. It's about making you broke while thanking them for the pleasure of ripping you off.

It's about debt. It's about compulsive spending. It's about marketing control. It's about being and doing what the beautiful people on TV say you should be and do. It's about what's in, what's hip, what's cool. It's not about being a better person. It's not about making the world a better place. It's simply about the cold, hard plastic.