Some snippets from outgoing posts:

> I love tools - have tools - do home improvements. Just bought a drill - > sizzle!

What kind? I got a Black & Decker cordless a few months ago and luv it luv it luv it. Most recently used it to take down the cursed mezuzah that Brooklynguy (you met him, at Caliente Cab) put on my door.

It's not the mezuzah itself, it's the fact that he installed it before I had a chance to get a scroll for it, and without mentioning to me he was going to install it, and without any kind of blessing whatsoever. It's a Jewish thing, the tiny box on your doorpost that has a scroll in it with a scripture verse written on it that it is commanded to put "on your doorposts and on your gates." I got this one in California, and it really is lovely, but without the scroll, it's stupid and pointless. And without a blessing, it's devoid of spiritual significance. And without my knowledge, that's just plain rude. So, it occurred to me superstitiously that all this misfortune might have something to do with this thing, and I took it down. I was proven wrong. :-) My fortune hasn't changed at all. But that's ok, I feel better now. Soon I'll get a scroll for it and do it up right at the next place I live.

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> > Eh, bite me.
>
> where?

Heh. Heh heh.

On a tangent, I used to know a guy who liked to have his penis chomped. Not nibbled, not teased. Chewed. Diligently. Erg. Fortunately, this was not my responsibility.

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Oh, why did I do it??!! *whiny groan* I'll tell you why. I wanted to look professional. I was ashamed of my stubby, bitten, nothing-but-the-pink-part fingertips. I can't stand having nails, but I need a job! Who's going to hire someone fingernailless?

They looked at me in horror in the shop when I told them how short I wanted the tips. It seems most of their customers want fingernails like the lightning guy in "Big Trouble in Little China."

They are still too goddamned long! I chose poorly. This is like having something in my eye, only not quite as painful.

There are silvery oval foreign objects stuck to me!

Oh misery! Oh hysteria! Oh god get these things off me! I'm going to have to reschedule my 11:30 tomorrow so that I can get down to "10 Perfect Nails" the instant they open and have them remove these acrylic nightmares.

And put shorter ones on.

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I hate her. I really hate Narice Caprice. Every time I lie down she jumps up on the bed, imbeds all four feet into the blanket right next to me, even into the seam between my body and the bed itself, and while standing, kneads the blanket. Not gently, to be endearing. Roughly, to keep me awake until I shoo her. Again and again. She stalks around the house making extremely loud mowly noises as though in perpetual heat. She rifles through all my cabinets and knocks things out. She tumbles things off my shelves. She eschews the proffered furniture for clawing (I have such lax rules) and instead tears the hell out of the pine wood plank paneling (and of course Spodie had to begin following her example). She rips around the house, claws ablaze, every night just as I am falling asleep and every morning, when I am trying to catch my last rest before I have to get up. She poops in my bathtub. She begs for bologna while I am making a sandwich (I hate it when I turn for the mayo and then whip around to catch her blissfully licking my sandwich), but doesn't eat the slice I put in her bowl (can you guess which slice??!!). The same goes for tuna and sardines. AND she tried to refrigerate herself, Siegel style. I should have let her.

I don't want to take her to the ASPCA, and I feel it would be fraudulent to try and pass her off as adoptable to some poor sob who reads the paper or sees a bulletin board posting. True, she is petite and adorable, cutest Egyptian face you ever saw. But I hate her.

Sigh. She's not my cat, really. She's Spodie's cat. Right now they are playing a very cute game with yarn that I will have to clean up later. I got her for him, because he was so lonely.

Spodie O'Dodie I love with all my heart, despite the fact he occasionally pees on my paperwork or laundry. I'd hate to cause him to be alone again. Dammit.

Sigh.

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I have never had any luck getting a cat to modify its behavior, despite all the reading I've done on it. Sigh. I really do need to keep her. She is teaching me commitment. She is teaching me the value of something iKat once said to me. iKat said that she's had friends before whom she didn't like. I forget how that came up in conversation, but I was incredulous. How can you have a friend you don't like??!! It's still a mystery to me, but slowly becoming less so.

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