I haven't felt much like writing lately. I have four ExplodingGoat titles in the hopper, although I probably won't use all four. I have a strong aversion to using complete sentences as titles of a work, and three of the submitted titles have to do with the meaning of love, which is not meant to be a recurring theme. Nobody likes to eat hamburgers for every meal, and nobody likes to write about love all the time. Generally speaking.
People who speak in generalizations should not be trusted. *wink*
I've been depressed lately. Another Christmas has arrived. I don't celebrate Christmas. I don't like Christmas. I especially don't like having my arm twisted to hock my life for the next year to buy a bunch of stuff that's only to be discarded in a matter of months anyway. *sigh*
It's not as bad as all that, but I come from a tradition of buying everyone gifts for Christmas, everyone in the family, but I haven't had the financial resources to do such a thing for several years now. This year is no exception.
Plus I feel unfulfilled in my goals. Conner Stenbock still hasn't incorporated yet - we have to raise the funds for the fees and all. The business plan is shaping up nicely, but several details are on hold for the present. We have projects in various stages of completion, but we can't lock them into place without incorporation. I don't like that.
I am learning Linux, however. Not nearly as hard as I thought it would be, but that, it seems, is thanks to my background in DOS. Who knew that old shtuff would come in handy? The whole way I think about files and directories and processes is useful in this learning, as it differs tremendously from most of those who never used DOS.
I am also being advised to learn Assembly, and certainly see the wisdom in that. Working it in, though, that's the challenge.
I also want to work in some time for physical exercise as well. I can't help but think that my fatigue could be helped by some moving around and using these atrophied muscles of mine.
Things irritate me. Like this lab for instance. There really wasn't room for me when I moved into here, and it's starting to make itself felt. I am forever knocking over things and stepping on things and spilling my coffee and cereal on keyboards in the desperate effort to find someplace to put them down. We have plans to rearrange the lab, but they also are on hold until an important check comes in. We need new tables, as these desks are coming apart and are too small in the first place.
I'm irritated by my monitor, on which sliding shadows are appearing, trailing after pictures and text. It's becoming very difficult to do graphical work on it, and that's one of the staples of my livelihood.
I'm irritated because I still don't have a "junk box" (or CSC for Curb Side Computer, a la Mark) on which to install Linux so I can learn it in a more hands-on way, rather than SSH in to the Napalm machinery. I need to be at liberty to break stuff without it being a horrible disaster.
My own lethargy irritates me. If there is nothing compelling driving me, it's very hard to get any momentum.
My lack of education bothers me. There is so much I want to do and to know.
Did you know that I'd really, really like to be a vet? And a minister? *grin* And a real live actual factual geek? I'd also like to build my own cobb house. Or earthbag home.
I'm going to be thirty-three in a couple months, and I don't feel that I've gotten much of anywhere.
Well, on another note, if you read Ceej's Black Book, you saw her link about Asperger's Syndrome. If you haven't read the Wired article, possibly you should. I think it's incredibly fascinating, and wonder what kind of implications this sort of thing might have for the future.
