11 Sep 01

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Starter FAQ

FAQ stands for Frequently Asked Questions. I've been working on a FAQ for some time, but it's something that gets shoved aside a lot, due to the screaming of other priorities. Finally it hit me I could start the FAQ in the journal itself, so here it is, the first round of questions:

Why do you expose your life online?

Because my life is an open book, online and off. There are very few questions I will not give a direct and honest answer to. I've discovered that it's the simplest way to be, and suits me wonderfully. Since I am the same person online as I am offline, that honesty is the same.

What happened to the picture that used to be on the front page, the one with the nipple?

I got flak for it. :-) Normally I don't care about what I get flak for, but the very first page of my site is not the best place to fight that fight.

You have two boyfriends?

Actually I have three. If you meet us in person, you see two, Napalm and the Cherub, because Wlofie is still in Sweden, and we miss him terribly. And I consider our relationships far more spousal than a word like "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" seems to indicate.

Do they know about each other?

Not only do they know about each other, but they approve of and accept each other. Each knew that I was polyamorous before they chose to be involved with me - it's part and parcel of the whole relationship gig. And I consult existing lovers before forging relationships with new ones.

What is polyamory?

Polyamory means loving more than one person at the same time. There are countless sites on the net that can give you more information. Enter the word into any search engine and you'll find tons.

Doesn't that mean swinging? Or group sex?

Some swingers are polyamorous, and some polyamorous people swing, but they are not the same thing. Being polyamorous does not necessarily mean having sex with all your partners at the same time. These are all matters of personal preference. But it is not at all unusual to meet poly people who do not have casual sex and who make love with only one partner at a time.

Doesn't this make you a Mormon?

No. Being a follower of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints would make me a Mormon, if I were one. I used to be one when I was a teenager, but have long since renounced my belief in it, to my mother's great distress. Mormonism has nothing to do with the structure of my relationships.

Why don't your kids live with you?

Sometimes they do. Our custody arrangement allows them to spend significant time living with each parent, as my ex and I are separated by the better part of a continent, and neither is at liberty to relocate.

I heard there's porn on your site. Where is it?

There is no porn on my site. I like legal porn and believe in its availability for consenting adults, but there is none here.

So what about those naked pictures in your journal?

Those are nudes. They are art. They may be bad art made with a stupid Logitch golfball webcam, but they are art nonetheless. If nudity bothers you, do not go looking for the nudes. They are not in a location where you will stumble upon them accidentally. Might I suggest also that if nudity bothers you, stay away from art museums.

If you have a question, please send it to me

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