7 May 00
 
   
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Calling

    Rebar hates his job.  One of them anyway.  Since he freelances, he gets a break here and there, but he does most of his work for one employer who seems to want him to take charge and handle things, and yet micromanages him senselessly.  It's horribly frustrating.  But it pays well, and that's vey important at the moment.  Everything is in a delicate, though unsatisfactory balance at the moment.  I feel there is a Calling out there for him, but he isn't free to go looking for it just now.
    wlofie hates his circumstances.  Like me, he hasn't got the ticket punches that lead to a good job, and aparently these are a bit harder to get in Sweden, at least if you aren't getting them in the usual order.  It's a big weary weight on him, and sometimes it drags him under.  I feel like there is a Calling out there for him, too, but I don't think he'll go looking for it.  Will he see it if it bumps into him?
    I am all lit up with the fire of my Calling, and it has rekindled the old hunger to know.  I want to know everything.  And I am so in love with life, some days are radiant droplets and I save up the gifts of the world as delivered by my senses like tiny petals and pebbles in the pockets of a child.  And I am telling myself to keep these, save these, and don't lose the wonder.
    Please god let me not lose the wonder.
 

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